Babies on Facebook - from Womb to Wall
By Sally Collings - 2nd August 2011
So now it’s okay for unborn children to be on Facebook. I’ve only just got used to the idea that my 8-year-old might soon want her own account, and now it seems I’ve already missed the boat by 8 years and 9 months.
Okay, the real story is that Facebook users can now list their unborn child on their profile. Previously they had to create a profile for their unborn baby, which meant they were breaking Facebook rules (users have to be at least 13 years of age).
Now you can list that you’re expecting a child on your profile – complete with due date and chosen name, if you really want to tell it all. Just add an 'Expected: child' field to your page to let your Facebook tribe know your big news.
I’d say it’s the thin edge of the wedge. Surely it won’t be long before kids are Facebooking before they’re born, let alone before they can walk.
This could reveal the inside story of what exactly happens – well, inside. I’ve always wondered: what do babies get up to in there? What are they thinking? If they could go online, what sort of event invitations would they post? Most importantly, would my womb buddy want to be my Facebook friend?
Sadly, I suspect my unborn children would have notched up considerably more interesting Facebook activity than I can manage. I really struggle to update my status to anything more gripping than ‘bath time for the kids,’ or ‘wow, this school pickup run is going well today’.
Reaching back to my dim memories of pregnancy (most of my memories these days are pretty hazy, whether they go back decades or just this time yesterday), I suspect there was some hard-core action going on in utero. Status updates would probably go something like this:
Just finished soccer practice for the day. Mum seems to get excited when I kick really hard. Aiming to beat personal best tomorrow.
Dad’s just ordered Thai takeaway. Chilli prawns again! Bad idea, you know it’s going to backfire …
Photos would be easy: bubs can post those amazing 4D ultrasound shots of herself looking like an alien in an egg.
Just think of the benefit to my unborn baby: she would hit the world already social media-savvy. Are you listing your babies on Facebook?